Friday, August 14, 2009

Acme California Pale Ale Awesomeness

Do you like beer? Do you like crisp, refreshing, delicious beer? Do you like redheads clinging to a rope with one hand and holding a pale ale that can go to toe to toe with any and all comers with the other?

Then Acme's California Pale Ale is for you, my friends.

It doesn't get much better than this beer. We're talking beer you take to a desert island with you, beer you thank the beer gods for after every sip, beer you pay whatever price they're asking because you'd be a mouth-breathing, drooling, shit-stained moron if you let an opportunity to drink this magic beverage pass you by.

I turned 30 this past Wednesday and received a few gifts from family and friends. All were greatly appreciated and all brought a smile to my face. None bigger than the six pack of Acme California Pale Ale my brother handed over. I love this beer.

Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema: say it four times fast

I'm reading each and every comment left at Anderson Valley Brewery's page for their Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema, and my mind is splattered on the wall behind me. It seems everyone who drinks this beer is head over heels in love with it. Everyone that is, except me.

I'll be honest with you, I love Anderson Valley's beer. I do. I'm an Anderson Valley Brewery fan. I celebrate their entire catalog. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than their Boont Amber Ale.

When it comes to summer beers, I don't know if it gets any worse than their Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema.

I love summer beers (Sierra Nevada, Alaskan, Sam Adams in particular, in that order) and combined with my respect and admiration for Anderson Valley's other work, I was fucking EXCITED to drink this beer and drink a lot of it. I didn't even know they made a summer beer. This was going to be awesome.


Perhaps I had a bad batch. It could have sat on the shelf too long at a less than optimum temperature. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, a Total Wine employee opened the bottles, filtered it through his socks after masturbating into them and capped the bottles back up. I don't know what happened with the beer, but I know I was not a fan of this particular beverage, not a fan at all.

Instead of a smooth, slightly sweet, easy-drinking beer, I found SSCC (I'm sick of typing that shit out) to have far too much going on. It was fruity, bitter, and even spicy. Beer and spice don't do it for me. Never have, never will (I hope those clowns at Sierra Nevada are reading this and taking notes for this year's batch of that abomination Celebration Ale.)

There's a chance I'll try it out again next year, give it another go, allow SSCC to redeem itself. A slight chance. I don't deal well with disappointment.

Shiner Smokehaus tastes like, well, smoke

Every once in a while I'll have what I call "six pack Friday." I have a certain amount of freedom at my place of employment, where I can nearly do whatever I want. Drinking a few beers at my desk on a Friday is sometimes the thing I want to do.

Today was one of those Fridays, and the beer selection was Shiner's Smokehaus. Now, I love Shiner beer. Everything I've sampled from their brewery has been delicious and I've always wanted more.

Not so with their Smokehaus.

I read the label, and knew full well what I was getting into. It says "mesquite smoked beer" front and center. I have no one to blame but myself, as there should have been some thought in my head of "this beer probably tastes like a combination of Shiner Bock and liquid smoke."

Which it does. It tastes like Shiner Bock when it gets past the lips, and tastes like liquid smoke on the way down and at the finish. I love smoke, I love bbq, I love drinking and bbq'ing.

I do not love Shiner's Smokehaus and it's liquid smoke tinge. It's not for me, and I have a hard time believing it's for anyone out there.

It pains me to say, but I've found a Shiner product I will never purchase again. It's bad enough disliking a new beer, it damn near hurts when it comes from a favorite brewery.

To quote the great Kelly Bundy, "case of rum, case of rum."