Kalamazoo Stout = Easy DecisionThe annals of history are full of decisions made by great men and women, and most can be placed into one or more of the following categories: Good, Bad, Shitty Shitty, Tough, and Easy.
|All fat. All white. All the time. Also, who the shit didn't sub out Pettis???|
|So simple yet so evil|
I've been blessed with a bladder that's roughly the size of a gnat's turd after a big steak dinner. 80% of my trips to the bathroom have the potential to turn into a Code Yellow disaster before reaching the urinal. Guess what? Donning a pair of button fly jeans ain't doing me any favors. Choke on my wet pants, Levi Strauss.
- Shitty Shitty
I decided it was a good idea to steal baseball cards at a local gas station when I was 13. I wasn't aware at the time, but apparently clerks are trained to spot suspicious teens shoving boxes of Stadium Club packs down their pants. Bad idea but a great life lesson. But holy shit those cards were glossy as all get-out.
|Did I mention the cards were glossy?|
|Fuck it. I'm eating oatmeal for breakfast.|
I'd rather solve a Rubik's Cube at gunpoint.
|Tim Burton's take on King of the Hill|
9/10 (or a 1 on the binary scale)