Inexpensive Beer Report: Milwaukee Classic Ice

On Saturday afternoon, the Good Brother and I decided to take the 45 minute drive up to Kenosha, Wisconsin to go beer hunting. Specifically, my brother was looking for Bells (which ain't available in Chicago) and we were both looking for the Holy Grail of Inexpensive Beer - Genesee Cream Ale. We hit up this HUGE grocery store called Woodmans, it was literally the size of a Super Wal-Mart, maybe bigger. Their beer selection did not disappoint - we got the Bells & Genesee along with a bevy of inexpensive beers that will grace the pages of Your Liver Hates You over the next month or so.

I was immediately drawn to the "Classic Ice" for the following reasons:

1. I've never heard of it
2. It was dirt cheap ($9.99 for 30)
   
3. It came in four packs

That's right people, four 12oz beers for sale. This absolutely blew my mind, what company would have the gall to sell 4 regular beers for a sub $2 price? Apparently the Milwaukee Premium Brewing Company, that's who!

Apparently the Milwaukee Premium Brewing Company (at least according to the fine folks at ratebeer.com) is a subsidiary of City Brewing. Ratebeer's listing of City Brewery's beers is a Who's Who of crap beer that I've enjoyed throughout my lifetime - Beer 30, Camo, DB Hobbs, Jaguar High Gravity Lager (which I also enjoyed thanks to the trip up north), La Crosse Lager, Schaefer Light and Sportz. These beers are all winners to a connoisseur of Inexpensive Beer like myself..... well actually Camo is absolutely terrible but in all the right ways. So my excitement level was quickly rising when I cracked open my first Classic Ice.

Now I love a shitty beer, but Milwaukee Classic Ice takes shitty to a whole new level. This is definitely one of the worst non MaltLiquor/HighGravityWhatever beers I've ever had. It doesn't have much taste going down, but it has a weird "texture" when drinking that I can't describe. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with an absurdly low carbonation level. When your sip is complete, the aftertaste kicks in. Not overwhelming mind you, but just enough to say "I'm here and you won't enjoy my company" - a most odd double whammy.

So Milwaukee Classic Ice has done what I previously though impossible - present me with a cheap, obscure, poorly brewed domestic beer that I don't really enjoy. Actually, now that I'm near slaying the 4 pack and its 6.0% ABV buzz is kicking in - I can think of worse ways to spend my time. Still, be wary of the Milwaukee Classic Ice, fine traveler....