Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA

Dogfish Head is a wonderful brewery in Delaware that is most well known for its IPA, most notably the 60 Minute version which is easily found and the 90 Minute, which is supposed to be a hoppier IPA than the 60 Minute (probably because the number of minutes in the beer is how long one of them will fuck you up) but actually doesn't taste like that.

A local fancy pants beer and wine deli here carried the much rarer 120 Minute IPA, only brewed in a handful of batches every year, so I decided to pick one up.

Taste: 9/10
All the hops punch you in the face. There's not a lot of carbonation due to the fact that this mother is 20% ABV. That's right, 20%. Six pack in a fucking bottle. I'm not one to drink an IPA on a regular basis, but if there would be one, this would be it. There's a lot going on all the way through the beer, and the aftertaste doesn't ruin the back of your tongue like a lot of IPAs I have. You can taste a whole bunch of other shit in there but my palate is not very refined. I eat Wendy's too often for that.

It says on the bottle "ages well", so I bought another to drink sometime next year to see if it will get any better, but this blog will probably be long dead by then.

Aroma: 10/10
I smelled a lot of hops, and something else smelled like fruit in there. Like I've said before, my sense of smell sucks, but even my retarded ass could tell that this was going to be a great beer. Except for...

Price: 0/10
9 DOLLARS A TWELVE OUNCE BOTTLE. You'd have to use the empty to mug a guy coming in the store to make drinking this very cost-effective. I have never paid that much for a beer before and I never will again. Fucking recession.

Hangover: N/A
I sobered up after an hour or so and still had a couple of hours before I went to bed. Nothing bad happened, but I base it on my course of action. Drinking this right before bed, like I do with the others, probably would have resulted in disaster. I'm not going to try that again. This guy chugged one, though...




I'm guessing he didn't feel too great if he went right to bed afterwards either.

The entire Dallas/Fort Worth area only got 50 cases of this stuff, so good luck finding it somewhere near you. If you have money to burn, it's a wonderful way to do it. Since most of us don't, it'll just be the expensive beer the bourgeoisie drink while they figure out what to do with all that oil money.

Haymaker Extra Pale Ale

From Portland, Oregon, land of dirty hippies, and dirty hippies that brew beer, we have Haymaker Extra Pale Ale. It's got a fucking rooster on the bottle, very subtle guys, way to go. I guess the hippies were just sitting around going HEY, LET'S PUT A BIG DICK ON THE BOTTLE. NO WAIT, LET'S PUT A COCK, THAT'S JUST AS FUNNY AND NO ONE WILL NOTICE.

This ended up leftover in my fridge from a buddy who was up for the weekend, for some reason he drinks nothing but pale ales now since he's on a diet and wants to make the calories count. If it was me I'd end up with Miller Lite since I could drink 2 for every normal beer, but hey, what do I know. Didn't minor in math for a reason or anything...

Taste: 8/10

I'm not a giant fan of pale ales to begin with, most of the time if I am going to get punched in the back of the tongue it's going to be something a little heavier, but this goes down rather nicely and has a nice pale ale taste without being too overwhelming. Definitely not as hoppy as a normal PA, which to me is great.

Price: 5/10

$7.49 for a sixer at the local gas station. Not terrible but pretty good for a pale ale when everything else is 8 bucks or over, thanks to the hyper religious Bible Belt fucks and their crusade against alcohol. Thanks, Dallas scum.

Hangover Potential: 6/10

I had 4 in about an hour and change and then went to bed. Most beers wouldn't do much to me other than a little bit of stomach twinge in the morning. Not the case with this one...

Hangover Effects: 6/10

Slight headache and the aforementioned stomach twinge. I discovered right after I got up that I could kill small rodents with the farts this produces, it was bad enough that I farted right in one of my dogs' face and he got up from laying down and moved to the other side of the house. Also, as soon as I got to work, the shits were fervent. Normally I can hold out until about 8:30 or so, but not so much with this one.

All in all, pretty good for a pale ale, not too many of them make it into things I drink all the time, but this one might if it was a little cheaper. However, I couldn't have more than a couple, so that's probably not an option either. Oh well, shit.