Yuengling's got the distinction of being America's oldest brewery, started in 1848 in Pottsville, PA. That's a damn lie. It's the world's oldest brewery, and the only one mentioned in the Bible. I've always said this is the only beer Jesus would drink, and after going back to the original Hebrew, there was an obvious mistranslation.
From Matthew Section 107, Row C, Seats 3 and 4:
"Jesus made Yuengling, blessed it, and gave it to his disciples and said, 'This stuff is the cat's ass. Also Judas is going to betray me so that shitdick doesn't get any.'"
They all got bombed on Yuengling then attended Jerusalem's punk shows (the lute was punk as fuck). Jesus's favorite band was Rise Against Pontius Pirate, with Barrabbas, Barrabbas's buddy Hector, and Dick Clark on the drums.
Anyway, we have my choice for best cheap beer in the world. Those of you who've grown up in the northeast US have no doubt been exposed to this wonder of humanity from stealing some out of the refrigerator when the folks aren't looking to paying a hobo 10 bucks to get a case.
Now that I reside in the sigmoid colon of flyover country, it's impossible to get, and with the bullshit restrictions on liquids on an airplane, I can no longer make 2 cases my allowed carryons (4 if the wife comes along). However if I drive back to Texas, I fill the car up with the good stuff.
On to the review...
Taste: 9/10
Tastes like a lager should. Not heavy enough that it will prevent you from knocking the whole case out in a couple of hours.
Price: 8/10
A lot more expensive in the southeast, but it's still 14 bucks for a 30 pack in Philly (at least it was last time I went)
Hangover Potential: 3/10
Tastes better than it should for saying it's pretty easy to stave off its after effects. I can get through about 12 in a few hours before really starting to realize I'm going to get my ass kicked the next day. However...
Hangover Effects: 3/10
Not the worst I've had by far, you get a little bit of the beer shits but the headache's not terrible and you can continue with the rest of the day without feeling like total ass.
Other notes:
I don't know where the fuck the name came from, it sounds Chinese and while I was living in Asia I got confused, since China produces something called Yanjing that tastes like nut sweat comparatively. Wholeheartedly recommended to anyone who is a fan of beer that is cheap and goes down easy. Odds are if you drink beer, and don't like this, then I don't like you as a person.
From Matthew Section 107, Row C, Seats 3 and 4:
"Jesus made Yuengling, blessed it, and gave it to his disciples and said, 'This stuff is the cat's ass. Also Judas is going to betray me so that shitdick doesn't get any.'"
They all got bombed on Yuengling then attended Jerusalem's punk shows (the lute was punk as fuck). Jesus's favorite band was Rise Against Pontius Pirate, with Barrabbas, Barrabbas's buddy Hector, and Dick Clark on the drums.
Anyway, we have my choice for best cheap beer in the world. Those of you who've grown up in the northeast US have no doubt been exposed to this wonder of humanity from stealing some out of the refrigerator when the folks aren't looking to paying a hobo 10 bucks to get a case.
Now that I reside in the sigmoid colon of flyover country, it's impossible to get, and with the bullshit restrictions on liquids on an airplane, I can no longer make 2 cases my allowed carryons (4 if the wife comes along). However if I drive back to Texas, I fill the car up with the good stuff.
On to the review...
Taste: 9/10
Tastes like a lager should. Not heavy enough that it will prevent you from knocking the whole case out in a couple of hours.
Price: 8/10
A lot more expensive in the southeast, but it's still 14 bucks for a 30 pack in Philly (at least it was last time I went)
Hangover Potential: 3/10
Tastes better than it should for saying it's pretty easy to stave off its after effects. I can get through about 12 in a few hours before really starting to realize I'm going to get my ass kicked the next day. However...
Hangover Effects: 3/10
Not the worst I've had by far, you get a little bit of the beer shits but the headache's not terrible and you can continue with the rest of the day without feeling like total ass.
Other notes:
I don't know where the fuck the name came from, it sounds Chinese and while I was living in Asia I got confused, since China produces something called Yanjing that tastes like nut sweat comparatively. Wholeheartedly recommended to anyone who is a fan of beer that is cheap and goes down easy. Odds are if you drink beer, and don't like this, then I don't like you as a person.
7 comments:
I too thought this was a Chinaman brew until I had some in Virginia last year. This is a damn fine beer that totally beats the pants off of any other standard American lager. My only gripe is that Iowa is too retarded to make this beer accessible to its citizens.
It is not Iowa's fault, it is the policy of the brewery in PA that doesn't want to ship it out. They opened one a few years ago in Florida which gets it all the way up to Charlotte, NC, but has no plans to go further.
The southern brewery's one doesn't taste as good, but who cares, it's still fucking amazing.
This is what a beer review should be. Well done, defen.
I had the pleasure of pounding Yuengling at CBGB's...where those motherfuckers charged $5 a bottle.
Punk rock indeed.
Oh man I wish this shit was available in Chicago, every time I went to Pittsburgh I would drink as much as I could.Much better than the over hyped Iron City.
I've yet to experience the greatness that is Yuengling. Never even see it in any of my adventures, as far east as Canton, Ohio. One day...
I'll be meeting my family down in Little Rock for Thanksgiving this year, and my mom, who lives in VA, will be bringing a couple cases of Yuengling for her baby boy. This is the kind of shit they had in mind when the pilgrims slaughtered the natives and then ate them with a side of canned cranberries.
Perhaps the best beer ever made. The balance is immaculate, each bottle is made with providence. I live where it is not sold, 'tis a damn shame. For those of you in the East, don't take this for granted! Yuengling, if you want to make more money you can! If not, I understand.
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